Don't you send me to vm
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
