just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
