If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
