I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize