Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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