i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
