He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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