You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
