Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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