Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
