Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
