I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
