): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
