there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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