and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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