She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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