i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
