I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
