just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
