my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm passing your future prison.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
