Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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