Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
