Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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