He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
