you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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