I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
