my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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