We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
