why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
