I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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