I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
