but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
