it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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