is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
only you would photoshop your dick
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
