Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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