don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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