You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
