how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
