11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
