Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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