i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
