I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
