So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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