Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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