I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
