the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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