Just cropdusted the office
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
