I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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