if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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