no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
