WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
