Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Too much gin, very little bucket
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
