Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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