I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
