Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
