the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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