"it" just moved
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize