I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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