And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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