Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
