she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
