Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
