Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
