I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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