Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
